In the Moment

From the last paragraph of my latest blog entry, you would think I had everything figured out. It’s so interesting to see how fast something can happen that can change absolutely everything. To the point where I only have two options left on what I can or should do. At least this is how I feel right now, in the moment. A lot of people, I should say goal-oriented people, don’t understand how I work, because of that fact. I live in the moment. Goal oriented individuals have long-term goals ahead of their lives, and that’s completely fine. In a way, I wish that WAS how I operate, but I don’t. I live in the moment, and make decisions, bad or good, in that moment.

The decision I made to go home for a week, for example. Goal-oriented people, much like my roommates, think it was an ill-informed decision. Though, if I had to do it again, I would. I’m sorry if it upset them, okay? I am, but it was simply something I had to do. It was something I needed, and if I needed it again, I would probably do it. I live in the moment, so sue me!

Now, to those two options I mentioned earlier. The first option would be to find a roommate, pronto. The second would be, if I can’t find a roommate, I’m heading home, and figuring out things from there. Continuing to live in this apartment is not an option anymore, at least not “in the moment.” A goal-oriented person would look at this, and say, well living here is really helping me succeed in becoming an individual, and taking care of myself. Well congratulations for them being able to think like that, I just know what I need.

When I returned to Indianapolis, I knew what I was going to do. I had some plans. Heck, I even got an acceptance letter from Ivy Tech Community College for a Summer session. Things were looking up. All it takes is for one fight to destroy a good portion of motivation. It was an argument I’ve already gone through once, and if I can have that same argument twice, there’s a good chance it will never end.

That’s just the way it always goes in this apartment. There’s always a fight, always an argument, which ends up making a pair of close friends tear each other apart. I can’t handle that happening all the time. You can say it’s just something you need to deal with all you want. I don’t think it’s worth it to risk losing a good friendship. So this is it. In the next few weeks, if I don’t find a roommate, then it’s goodbye to Indianapolis. More on this later, Peace out.