Solitary

What is something used in prisons? The shoe. More commonly referred to as Solitary Confinement. What is this room designed for? Well…the more…difficult of prisoners. For all you parents out there, this is the more strict version of a child being grounded.

When a prisoner, who is being impossible, gets thrown into a room for an unknown amount of time. A day, a week, a month…longer? In some cases, yes. The room is dark, and the only social interaction the prisoner gets is when the door’s latch opens up to receive food. Or so it shows in the media. Real life’s interpretation may be different, but the idea is the same.

Solitary Confinement deeply messes with the prisoner’s mind. It makes them go mad. In some cases, the prisoner’s develop PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. People need social interaction to stay sane, so why do they get such unusual punishment?

A prisoner that goes around stabbing other inmates repeatedly is probably unlikely to listen to anyone’s suggestion to stop stabbing the inmates. He’s in prison anyway, maybe he is serving a life sentence, so why does he have to listen to anyone’s suggestions? Because if he doesn’t, he’ll be thrown in the shoe, and if you ask me, a man’s sanity is incredibly important.

In reality, we are all serving a death penalty. The only sure thing in life is death.  This is true, it is the only thing we can truly expect to happen. It is the only thing we know is going to happen, so why should we have any repercussions of our actions? Well because if we don’t, we’ll be thrown into the shoe of our own making. Solitary.

If you are someone who gives disrespect to others, and don’t very much care about their well being, then they are sure to push you away into that solitary confinement. If you know what it takes to get out on good behavior, you should do it, and ignore your death penalty.  Otherwise you will be thrown into solitary confinement, and it will drive you absolutely bonkers.

If you ask me, prisoners should have the option to have solitary confinement as well as social interactions with others. If they are in that metal room with just a slit to open and talk to others. I don’t think anyone will be stabbed to death, and the prisoner gets to have his social interactions, but if that prisoner get so upset about his situation and takes advantage of it, spewing anger and hatred out his window of opportunity, then that window will shut, and it’s lights out, pal.

We can apply these analogies to real life.  A lot of times, we are so stuck at a place in our lives, and it is so incredibly easy to get upset at others, and often you never know what you had until you lost it. In some cases, things lost can be found again, but in other cases, if you keep losing your prized possession, your bound to lose it for good at some point.

The question you really want to ask yourself is…what would you do? Would you allow someone to keep being a danger to themselves and to others repeatedly, or would you throw them into solitary confinement, where they may end up getting PTSD? That is an incredibly hard choice to make, and we shouldn’t be the ones to enforce that. There is no right answer, they are both bad.  If it is a matter of protecting yourself, solitary confinement is probably the right choice for you.

If you have no choice, then you have no choice. In the end, you just have to remember that you gotta do what you gotta do. It’s all instinctual. If this is what you have to do to survive, don’t question it. Sometimes, we have incredibly difficult decisions like this, and you may have no other choice then to put someone in the shoe. I just hope none of you ever have to go through that.

Yes, this is all a metaphor of something going on in my life. Deal with it.

PEACE OUT.

Separation

A part of separation is taking advantage of the space between you and your spouse, to focus on yourself. This means doing what is necessary to make sure that you are in good standing. This means your are both physically and mentally healthy, and realize you don’t need a partner in life to keep living. It’s that dependency that lingers, and wants to take complete control of our lives, even if we don’t think that’s what we are dealing with.

Separation confuses a lot of people. The only real difference between a divorce and separation is the people in the separation generally are striving to do what needs to be done to someday be together, after everything else has been fixed. Though, what a lot of people don’t understand is that they really need to work on themselves first, before they take that second step, and start working on their relationship.

They may understand that they have to work on themselves first, but they think that means you have to help them with it. Again, we are diving back into dependency here. Separation can be done a couple ways, through solitude, or by still being civil with your significant other by long distance means. Keeping in contact, but not hanging out. Both of you need to focus on yourself, and make sure that you are physically and psychologically healthy.

I really don’t think those who are in separations will work if they ignore their responsibilities to simply hang out together. In some cases, it may okay to meet up for a couple hours, but when it comes down to overnight, it’s not a good idea. I believe to reach oneness with yourself, you have to do it on your own, in solitude. I also believe you are allowed to keep in contact with the other person, I think that is healthy, to keep remembering what you are both fighting for, but don’t push it.

It is called separation for a reason. You are separated! Do you want to stay in the marriage? Absolutely. Do you have to take the necessary steps to get back to that point of trust and understanding, absolutely! That means not seeing each other, but keeping in touch in these very delicate situations.

I cannot stress this enough. You have to work on yourself before you work on a marriage. Because there can be no marriage to begin with if you don’t first establish you.

Another fact, you cannot do self-counseling. I think for the mundane of circumstances can be dealt with through self-counseling, but with more serious matters, it won’t do much help to self-counsel.  The very most it will do is help you cope with being on your own, but it won’t help you discover your true potential unless you get professional help.

Being on your own, having time to fix yourself before anything else has proven to be successful to maintain a relationship. Quite frankly, you need to heal, and find self-actualization. Only then, can you go on to fix the marriage.  I know you really want to see that other person sometimes, to establish what you are fighting for, but by keeping in contact with them, you can do the same thing.

There is something that happens when you meet face-face that makes your goals seem to just vanish. You suddenly remember everything good that has ever happened before, and just maybe, maybe it’ll be okay. So even if it is subconscious, meeting with the other person will put you into that blissful state, which is a lie, and you could be stuck at square one again. You have to wait, you have to have patience. No one wants to, but you need to. Life is frustrating, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Your world is not shattered, I assure you. It may seem like that, but it’s always possible to sew it back together again. Tape won’t work in this situation. Not even duct tape.

PEACE OUT.

Repetition

If at first you don’t succeed…try try again. Of course we have all heard that saying, but what if what you are doing obviously proves not to actually work. I’m talking about something that’s been done a half a dozen times. Getting into and out of a relationship for example. We’ll just try again…that didn’t work, let’s just get back on that horse, etc.

Look, when you are in a relationship that just seems to be toxic not only to yourselves, but the people around you that care about you, that repetition cycle continues, and it just keeps going…and going…and going. We all love familiar things, even if they are bad for you. Sometimes you don’t know what else to do, the harshness of the world can scare you like that.

When you are in the dangerous world of separation, but the both of you truly do want to be together, it is extremely easy to forget all the bad that has gone on from both sides, and just try to keep going, incredibly easy. You just have to remember, it hasn’t worked for you the last six times, what makes you think it will now? You have to go about it with a different approach. It’s common sense!

This is no time to be stubborn.  You, me, and everyone else in this world has a level of stubbornness in them, and it has done nothing but frustrate people. However, you can transform that stubbornness into something else. Turn it into a drive. For me, I turned a lot of my stubbornness into a drive to succeed in life, to succeed in school. I’m using my power for good. It may not be that simple for everyone though.

If you are separated and several miles away, and realize you need to get counseling in order to keep the marriage alive, then do so, but if you cannot find a way to  meet in the same place, you have to go to separate counselors. You have to do what you have to do.  You have to love yourself before you love anyone else, and the same is true for counselors, you have to work on yourself before you work on your relationship.  It is very important to be healthy, not only physically but psychologically speaking.

You can’t go right back into that relationship either, or you are bound to hear that Energizer bunny coming around the corner. The past will repeat itself if you don’t first establish trust and understand, and all that good stuff.  But again, for some people, this could be incredibly difficult to just imagine, let alone act upon.

If love is strong, and worth fighting for, then you’ll do what you gotta do…not what you want to do.

PEACE OUT

Hierarchy of Needs

A long, long time ago, a man named Abraham Maslow created a pyramid graph, depicting the “Hierarchy of Needs”. It represented the order of things you need in life to reach “Self-Actualization”, a wonderful state, of well, Zen.  That doesn’t mean nothing bad ever happens, just you have a different outlook on it then, say, someone who hasn’t yet found self actualization.

Anyone can say they have self-actualization, but few do, because they ignore the process in which it takes to receive it. There is a process, an order. There is a reason why it is a pyramid. You can’t have this or that, without first having something else to support it.  I believe I have self-actualization, because I took an in-depth look at each individual part before coming to that conclusion.

The first step in the process, taking it’s place at the bottom of the pyramid, the foundation, if you will, is Physical Needs.  No, not physical touch, this just basically means the bare essentials. Having a roof over your head and plenty of food at your disposal are a couple of things found in this section. If you are homeless, you probably see symptoms of stress, depression and anxiety.  Though, if you have the base, you most likely are rested, energetic and satisfied. I have a roof over my head and food at my disposal. I meet the first requirement.

Next up is Safety Needs. Now safety needs could mean a variety of things, such as physical safety, psychological safety and security.  I am safe right now, no harm is going to happen to me right now, and I am also secure for the time being. So I meet this step, which gives me confidence and trust towards others. People who don’t usually experience a sense of fear or paranoia.

Love Needs would be the third step. This is where someone has the need to feel loved. Whether it be by a family member, a relationship or marriage. Even the joining of a gang or cult can make someone feel loved.  A lot of people jump into a relationship, whether it be a good or bad person just to have that sense of love.  No matter what, I have a family that supports me, and is there for me, so I feel their love. This makes me feel cared for and content.  People without this usually feel lonliness and uncared for.

Second to last step would be Esteem/Self-Esteem. You cannot love anyone else unless you first love yourself. I do love myself, and through that I can love others.  This creates balance in my life and allows me to be respectful. Doesn’t mean I don’t slip up once in a while. This isn’t a plan where you can’t step down once in a while, you just have to fight to stay up on top. People with low self-esteem are usually self-loathing and have no respect for others.

This brings us to the last step, which is Self Actualization itself.  I said before you are in a state of Zen.  To be more specific, you accept yourself and you know exactly where you’re going in life.  You accept your own flaws and those around you, and accept difficult situations around you, but don’t dwell on them. Dwelling doesn’t solve anything. Accepting it, and deciding how to fix it is another thing.

People who haven’t met self-actualization usually are empty, hollow, feel they have no purpose, and are alienated from everyone. It’s not a pretty scenario. I have self-actualization, because I know exactly where I am going, and I cannot wait to get there. Drama is happening all around me every day, which sucks, but I don’t dwell on it. Doesn’t mean that I don’t care, just means I don’t dwell.

Having self-actualization is a freeing and rewarding feeling.  If everyone had this, there would be no more wars. Only understanding of one another, and acceptance. All having a common goal to climb the ladder of success. That’s what I’m doing, climbing that ladder, making sure I get to the top.

PEACE OUT

You’ll Thank Me Later

I was just recently given the choice between poverty and security. Well, that doesn’t seem like any choice at all.  It is, and I’ll tell you why. Right now, I am in a terribly-timed situation.  A baby on the way, while living apart with my wife, and no work. All I have is school. On the other hand…all I have is school.

I know that baby is coming soon. I know it needs a lot, and needs a working parent….or two….to make sure it has all it’s necessities, but I also know with school, the most I’ll be able to get is a part time job. Full time jobs usually require you to cut in to your schools time, and are less flexible with that. Plus, full time jobs would pull my attention from my already waning attention for school. I cannot do anything that will jeopardize my education.

My education ensures everything. It ensure where I will be when I turn 64.  Will I be dead after so long on the streets? Will I still be working my tail off and not getting paid enough for it, or will I be retired. That’s the real question. An education ensures not only my 64th year, but it ensures forever for me, my wife, and my child or children.  It ensures happiness and security versus pain and poverty, which they would never get out of if I chose poverty.

What I mean by choosing poverty, if you haven’t guessed already, is quitting school to make sure the baby is taken care of.  That could ruin everything.  No one wants poverty. In both my cases, there will be poverty, it’s only up to me if I want to make it last forever.

I have one last chance for school. I went all out this time, making sure I only had one chance. Took out loans, financial aid, all that. Meaning if I drop out of college, I will be in debt for the rest of my life ON TOP of the already poverty position I was placed in by leaving school.

It sucks. No one said life was easy. In the grand scheme of things, going to school will ensure my families safety and security. That is what I want most of all, and I’m feeling crazy for wanting that. For having this ambition. To succeed in school where many in my family failed.

This is a terrible dilemma, and it makes me out to be some terrible person.  What needs to be understood though, is every time in the poverty position, I will be in debt because of the loans.  Therefore, I cannot take care of my family whatsoever, as I have to pay back loans with that work money.

I choose security for all the right reasons. “Shaping Through Successive Approximations“ has to do greatly with my decision.   I can’t have the Gotta Have it All outlook. Even when it comes to a baby.  Especially when it comes to a baby. That’s when it is easiest to have that outlook. Many people give up their educations forever to take care of their child, that is great when you have some kind of fall-back plan. When you don’t, and your “Fallback plan” is a homeless shelter, you are endangering yourself and the baby.  My choice to stay in school and hold on to that insurance that there will be a brighter day gives me strength.

You may not understand now, but some day you will. Some day, you’ll thank me later.

PEACE OUT.

Successive Approximations

It’s always interesting to go into class, being psychology, and learning something about your life in it’s current state. Among the many things learned today in class, we learned about “Shaping Through Successive Approximations”. In Lamen’s Terms, that basically means, baby steps.

To be more descriptive, it is defined as taking small steps towards small goals and being reinforced for those steps to eventually meet your future goals in life. It is the opposite of the “Gotta have it now” outlook on life.

As my professor said, for important things, you can’t just have things now, most things in life take time and patience to achieve. I am shaping through successive approximation by going to school. I know it’ll take forever, but the end picture will be great, because I have an education.

I would love to just be finished with school and have my career right now, but I know that I can’t. I know that it will take a whole lot of time and hard work to do this.

Just look at the world around you. If you really looked at everything, you would realize how much patience you really needed. Sometimes, things just pass you by, and you don’t even realize it. Take a walking sign. I bet you would love to just cross that street. You are short on time, you very much need to cross the street, but you have to wait for it to tell you to walk. Or you will get run over.

For some people, it is incredibly difficult to have patience for certain things. Which is completely understandable, having things as soon as possible creates a great amount of security and well-being. It is a comfortable thought, but in most cases you just can’t have things now. The most you can have are temporary fixes, which are just that, temporary. The only real fix is patience, and the eventual completed picture, after baby-steps are taken.

Now, there are a lot of baby steps. It takes a baby forever to get from one end of a room to the other. It can be a discouraging thought. Knowing how much of your life you have to devote yourself to school, in my case. Four years.  That’s only a 6th of my life right there. It’s terrifying facing the unknown. It’s enough to scare you out of going to school for some people, and they lose sight on the big picture. The very reason they are going to school to begin with. We just have to stay strong, and keep our eye on the ball.

In my current state, I can only do so much at the current time. I can get a part-time job, where I hopefully wouldn’t lose focus on school. This is very touchy, because I know how distracted I can get while doing two seriously important things at the same time. I have the fear that I am not going to succeed in either if put a job in the mix. But I am willing to go to work, to help out my situation with my family.

Even so, I am still limited on what I can and cannot do.  There is a lot I want to do right now, a lot. There is a lot I wish I could just make go away, and be happy with my wife and child. It is such a frustration not to be able to get what I want when I want, but I know that one day, I will get it.  Until then, I can only do what I can do.

I’m just a guy sitting on the curb waiting for that stop light to turn green.

PEACE OUT.

Is Love A Choice?

Is love a choice? You wouldn’t originally think this question would hold so much controversy, but it does. Just today, I was having a discussion with my wife about how love is not a choice. How your heart chooses what it chooses, and there’s really nothing to do to stop it. The only thing you really have control over is if you act on that love or not.

This conversation had a lot of positivism to it, because this was something me and my wife totally agree on. Not even ten minutes later, someone showed up, saying, “I’ve heard something beautiful today. We were talking about how love is a choice…” There was more to it, but like a hand on a stove, I reacted. Now I didn’t say anything, but I wanted to.  So instead of saying something, my face got all contorted in a weird shape, and I was trying my hardest to conceal myself.

What was the story? Well Adam chose to love Eve when he ate the apple. He knew it was forbidden, and knew she would be banished from the garden, so he ate it, choosing love to be with her.  No no no. He isn’t choosing love, he is choosing to ACT upon said love. The love was already there.

In Christian terms, they would say, “God is showing you who to marry,” or “God is showing you who to be with”. Choosing to act or not act upon that love would be equal to choosing to go against God’s commands.  The world is one great big giant metaphor.

Love as being a “choice” would be pre-assigned marriage. You can’t choose to love your husband. It either happens or it doesn’t. If you ask me, pre-assigned marriage sucks, because the possibilities to truly fall in love with who you are assigned seems unlikely.  Love being  a “choice” is when you go to a mall, say “Eenie meenie miney moe”, pick a person at random and say, “I’m going to love this person. I don’t know who they are, but hey…let’s give it a go.”

You can try your whole life to say “I will never fall in love. I hate the whole idea of love, and I would not shed a tear if it never happened.” Then that one day, you suddenly fall in love, and you say, “Well…dang.” You either can choose to act on that love or don’t. Doesn’t mean the love wasn’t there.

Love is not a choice, it is a gift.

PEACE OUT

Stockholm

Psychology is defined as “The scientific study of behavior and mental processes.” Though if you ask me, it should be something closer to “The evaluation of things beyond our understanding, so we can feel better about ourselves.”

Meaning, if you don’t meet our terms, you are crazy.  Guess what, because no one is 100% normal, everybody who would be professionally evaluated for their mental health, would walk away with some kind of mental illness. Why, because psychologist look at things in black and white, and disregard any factors. No, this is not true, they disregard any positive factors, and say well if it has any one of these negative factors, you are crazy as a bat.

In class yesterday, which is Psychology, there were two guest speakers speaking about abuse. I sat there and listened, and found myself getting rather upset with them. Why? I suddenly realized people have a preconceived notion on abuse.

People go through abuse, and get scared, they look up articles on abuse, which tell them to get out of it right away, and they do it. I’m not saying they are wrong for doing it, as they are simply doing what they feel is best. I’m not saying they are right either. I don’t know their case, so maybe it’s beyond repair, I don’t know.

Articles tell you so much on what to look for in abuse, and tell you all the negative factors, and again, tell you nothing good.  There is little to suggest that abusers deserve love like everyone else.  They also tell you a lot that abusers cannot change their ways.

Well, everything apart from divine intervention. Though, how do you even define divine intervention? When God steps up, and does some kind of miracle to stop the abuse? Well if you define it like that, anything could be seen as divine intervention. If the abuser can change their ways on their own, it’s seen as divine intervention, cause again…people have a preconceived notion about abusers. Apparently, it is impossible to see change in them.

Oh, and if you don’t leave an abuser, if you choose to continue to love them, you obviously have “Stockholm Syndrome.” There is no possible way that people can forgive their abusers and love them for their good qualities at all, apparently.  Even if loving them and forgiving them did the trick in stopping the abuse.

There is, however, a study that shows that it is likely that abusive people marry abusive people.  I think this study shows the most accuracy out of them all.  I think abusers that marry abusers know each other pretty well, and if this was the case, both abusers stop being abusive.  Why? Well because each party can see how much pain they cause when they get it back in return.

There are seriously some factors that go into things when people are abusive. Articles seem to suggest that is just who the person is, abusive.  No, there is an underlining issue in their life, at some point, or at multiple points that significantly altered their life style. They aren’t born with it, which means at any given time, a person can revert back to their original state.

Darth Vader was bad. He killed people, killed Jedis, lots of em. Though in the end, when he saw his own son being tortured the way he himself tortured others, he reverted back to his original self.  Good ol’ Anikan Skywalker, and after 3 films, we suddenly felt sorry for the main antagonist.

In the same way, I guess we all had Stockholm Syndrome for feeling bad for Darth Vader.  For loving his loving side.  The question is, how can we forget everything Darth Vader has done bad for years, and not real abusers who change? Yes it’s a pop culture reference, but there is a reason George Lucas wrote it like that.  People can change, I have seen it.

Though, people with preconceived notions are so close minded to that.  They can’t possibly imagine a person can change. Well, how about this? Love is the most powerful force that humans are capable of. It’s like a superhuman ability.  It has the ability to squash any abusive act, and change it to positivism.

PEACE OUT

Trust & Understanding

Why is it that sometimes, just sometimes, we find it so incredibly difficult to accept others? Well, you ask me, and I’ll be telling you that people don’t like change. On instinct, people start looking for similarities in a person, because the idea is simple…less conflicting beliefs, less problems. That is not necessarily true, definitely hasn’t been in my case.

People want other people to believe the things they do so incredibly strongly, subconscious or not, that they create a bias for themselves. It gets harder and harder for one to understand the other.  So when they see something they don’t understand, they attack it. It shouldn’t be this way, it should be that way!

When it comes down to a relationship, the heart chooses what it chooses, and it might not be who you had in mind.  You might have always wanted someone with a ton of similarities as you, but you get the opposite, or because you believe opposites attract, you might get someone with a lot of similarities. The heart knows no bounds, and it chooses whatever.  You ask me, too many similarities sucks, I think I’m an alright guy, but I wouldn’t date myself personally.  I think too opposite sucks too, I need something in the middle, which is what I have.

In any case, there are going to be moments where your eyes roll, or maybe you’re just plain confused, about why your significant other is doing the things they are doing.  Then you may do one of three things.

1. Tell them what they are doing is stupid, wrong, etc.
2. Leave them.
3. Accept and understand them.  Reach a compromise.

I would personally do the third one. My relationship is way too important to me to have options 1 or 2 overrule anything. I use them, and the worst thing imaginable could happen. So I hold on to what I have, because that is important to me.

Sometimes people can never get what they want across, because they are so much different then everyone else, because no one seems to understand them. Some people, like me, are known to talk about metaphors, or use pop culture references. This is no different then how maybe someone else uses lyrics from songs to explain themselves, or another uses quotes from an icon in history. If they have a way to get the message across, then let them.

Like understanding, another active ingredient in relationships is trust. It may take a while to start that engine, but once it is started, that engine never runs out. What I mean from that is, it is very easy not to trust someone. You may have every reason in the world not to. Maybe the significant other keeps doing untrustworthy things, but if you want to keep the love alive, if there is any part of you that does, you need to continue hoping and trusting.

I would trust my wife if she did untrustworthy things. Why? Maybe it was a mistake, maybe it was done out of spite, resulting in an accident. Maybe it is something that she would regret. If there is a chance she would regret it, and I held onto a grudge and left her, I would be kicking myself for the rest of my life. It would hurt, sure, but love teaches me that there is no room for love in distrust.

I’m not telling you that if something untrustworth happened not to have a moment of distrust. Everyone is entitled to that. For me, I have made a personal choice, to move past that, and hold onto love. These days love is so hard to hold on to and fight for, but people still know what is most important to them.

The fact of the matter is, people do stupid things sometimes. They make mistakes, every last one. If you think you’re perfect, you’re not. We have to recognize that in others. Our significant other can’t be perfect, they are just as human as us. They can’t always act exactly as we want, because no matter what, they will differ from us.

Trust is so important in a relationship, and it is so incredibly difficult for us to remember that all the time. One little thing, and that’s cause for a break-up nowadays.  One little thing, and that’s cause for distrust and unforgiveness.  You know what the hugest thing is? Love.  Love is above all distrust.  The biggest untrustworthy of acts can always be forgiven in love, if you take a leap of faith.

I’ve taken that leap of faith, and it’s a rewarding experience. At least for me, if not for anyone else.  I would like others to experience this with me, but I’m not forcing anyone to.  Life is too short for fussing and fighting, my friends.

Walk a mile in their shoes.

Peace out

Love

Yesterday, I wrote about marriage, today I am writing about love. I find the necessity to because too many people in the world think they know what love is, but in reality they don’t…not really.  If all you’ve had your whole life is pizza bites, how can you even know what Pizza Hut tastes like?

That is my metaphor for the day. Love is Pizza. One who has never had it, may say it probably tastes the same as lasagna. Same texture and color, right, so why not? But once they have pizza, it is a whole new ball park, and then there is all different kinds of love to go on top of that, toppings if you will.

If you tell me all you have ever had before is unrequited love, I will tell you what I think, that you had a crush, and you had absolutely no resolve with that, so you had no closure.  Having no closure makes the question “what if?” begin to stick in your head.  You believe it is love, when in reality it is not.  Trust me, I know all there is to unrequited love, I’ve lived it, I’ve written the book on it.  You look up unrequited love in the dictionary, you find my picture.

If that is all you have experienced, then I can see where you would be mistaken thinking that is love.  I know, I’ve been there myself.  Then of course there is love you have for your family and friends.  That’s all great and dandy, but where does real romantic love lie? How do you know when it is real.

Like I said in my marriage blog, I will not try to attempt to give you the answers to that, only how I see things for myself.  Are you ready for this? What I’m about to say is not for the faint of heart.  Honestly, it’s not even for people who haven’t lived it yet, but here it is…Love is forever.

That means unfleeting.  My personal belief is that if you love someone, truly love someone, there can only be one true love.  If you don’t fall in love with them right away, and explore your options, you always have the opportunity to finding that true love, but once you have it, it’s there to stay. That is what true love is. Someone you cannot, try as you may, and I have tried, fall out of love with.

To anyone else who have not even lived through that, this is what seems like a copout, or a cliche.  Not so, you literally have to live it to understand it in this scenario.

Am I saying that with this love, there will never be any sad days, and your life will be perfect? No not at all, in any regular, healthy relationship people fight.  They fight because no two different people on this earth are exactly alike.  Everyone has their own views that, no matter how you try to go about things, will conflict with your views. Friction causes heated arguments sometimes.  Though love remembered makes all things possible.

Everybody will tell you they know what love is.  Choose the right person to ask about it, someone who has lived it, and is living it today. Peace Out