Mysteriously Losing My Marbles

I’ve lost it.

I’ve legitimately lost my ability to fathom people’s actions or motivations anymore. I don’t think THEY even know what they’re doing, or the implications of what they’re proposing. If I was in the U.K., I’d say I’m properly mental. But instead, I’ll just say I’m as mad as a hatter. Mad in my lack of sanity and in my outlook expression of life. I’m mad.

Why? Well, why not. We are living in a terribly horrible time and yet, you know what the world is telling me?

“YOU ARE OVERREACTING!”

– The world

Am I, though? I don’t think I am, but it’s hard to argue against the natural peer pressure of what everyone is doing right now – which is going out, working, eating, taking unnecessary risks because they’re tired of this COVID-19 thing that’s controlling their lives. I sit on Facebook, and it is a daily occurence. My parents leave the house. I dont think there’s been a single day they haven’t. They’re out driving. They’re out eating. They’re out here, there, everywhere, and they aren’t the healthiest people in the world. Both of them have different lung problems. One is a smoker, the other has allergies that affect the lungs and breathing. On top of that, they live in and around a hugely populated city. What are you thinking right now?

I mean….someone has to be right. If I’m crazy and wrong and overreacting, than it is the people attacking, harassing, and physically assaulting store managers and clerks for enforcing a rule that says you must wear a mask in the store… they are right. If we truly live in an adversarial system, then that’s the case.

I said it before and I’ll say it again. Historically, when our nation is hit by something collectively, we come together as one voice. When 9-11 struck, we all felt it. Those of us who had flags…waved them and placed them outside their homes…we were always the strongest when most vulnerable…so what happened to us? What have we become?

The only thing I can think of is we’ve accepted a new way of life that finds hatred and violence as acceptable, and I’m sorry but this is where I get political. When you have someone at the highest authority constantly tell the American public that it’s okay to hate, it’s okay to discriminate, and it’s okay to laugh at the underprivileged, then that’s what happens and what HAS happened, and that’s why we dont care anymore, or those of us that do are shoved under a rock and mocked.

I’m mad. Because this doesn’t really affect you until you know someone who has it, or more importantly, has died from it. And I do. And the horror stories that went on for so many weeks while we waited to see what would come of it…was heartbreaking. Because there were ups and downs and the ups were great…but the downs were scary. And you have these people on Facebook showing projects they’re making for him when he comes home…and then overnight, he just dies. This isn’t a joke. People are dying.

Peace out. I’m done.

President-Elect: Thus Far

 

 

I’ve been passionate about many things in life, so much so I’ve gone through legitimate phases in life depending on the passion. There’s so much out there for our diverse world to get out there and experience. Passion, however, isn’t exclusively a positive thing. Sometimes passion is about the desire to return to that once positive state of being. As we all know, our country just went through a massive change that surprised Democrats and Republicans alike – Donald Trump has won the 2016 presidential race and will be inaugurated early next year. The passion I have right now is a desire to get back to the way we were before, before it gets out of hand. This is a passion, by the way, that is anything but a “phase”.

I’m not here to explain how Trump won the election. Even though there are explanations there that do make sense, they don’t on a deeper and moral level. I want to attempt to explain why the world is so angry right now.

Every election angers people, that’s already known. So many people make the mistake of comparing any other election to the one we just witnessed. This wasn’t a normal election. The people out there rioting and refusing to accept the results of the election aren’t doing so just because they’re angry democrats whose favorite candidate lost. Most of them didn’t even like their party’s candidate, so why on earth would they be so absolutely broken when the person they didn’t like lost? Do you truly believe it’s just because they are democrats? Really?

I see myself as a democrat. Whatever Democrat runs for office, I am usually on par with the things they believe in 95% and above, yes, I took the test to find out. I may be young, but I’ve been through enough presidential elections to take notice in how I, and how the rest of the country, reacts to elections (in general). I’ve seen both democrats and republicans climb their way to the oval office, but I’ve reacted the same each time. If my party won, I take pride that I “won”, but I’m also hopeful for the future because a candidate I believed in won. If the republican won, I’d snap my fingers and say, “shoot, we lost”, and I’d go about my life. I wouldn’t protest, I wouldn’t start Facebook or Twitter wars, I wouldn’t unfriend anyone for voting the other party through – none of that, because no matter what, I respected the man as a man, no matter how much I saw things differently than he. What I never witnessed myself doing – was fearing for the future of the country – I mean really fearing. Terminator 2: Judgment Day fearing for the country (and world). That’s what I found myself doing as Trump ran for president and ultimately won. Now that it’s official, I’ve never been more afraid  for America.

I unfriended people I’ve known closely for more than a decade. I made comments about wanting to leave the country and go to Canada, or Ireland, or Australia, or wherever would accept me – and I wasn’t overreacting or being sarcastic, I legitimately was terrified of what this meant for us. With good reason too, as (if you’re paying attention), people have been assaulted, threatened, and vandalized. Trump supporters now believe they have the right to do these things because Trump will back them up and in the near future, everyone but whites will either leave the country, be lynched, be put in concentration camps, be deported or otherwise killed. There are endless reports of real things happening to real people, suicide rates are climbing, it’s a travesty. Here’s the kicker, it’s been like 4 days. That’s it. I may be in the clear because I’m a “caucasian male”, but I’m apparently in the minority for caucasian males that care.

Here’s something else I understand…Trump might not even understand the repercussions of his actions and words because he’s not a politician. He might just be incredibly naive and politically blind. He might make better business decisions and professional dealings, but his followers might be the real demons. They have taken his threats and terrible temperament seriously and are now carrying out what he appeared to be okay with. I want to say he might personally be an okay guy, but every time I think back to his history with not only politics, but also personal dealings, including his latest “locker room talk” scandal, obsession with nuclear power, and praisings to dictators and crime leaders makes me question that greatly.

I unfriended people on Facebook. I know that goes against democracy, but I strongly believe what we all just went through was anything but democracy. 15,000 people voted for a dead gorilla. A dead…gorilla. that means people weren’t taking this seriously. Heck, even half of the Trump supporters out there I don’t think take things seriously and voted for him as a part of a joke. That’s not a democracy. I don’t even consider Donald Trump a Republican. I see him as a reality show host. A celebrity. A businessman, even…not a Republican. I unfriended people because I care about them, and for them to vote Trump shows me how they define caring for me, other people I love, and several others, and it pains me. My heart aches anytime someone posts anything good about him – that includes merely accepting the outcome of the election – forgetting how it’s already beginning to tear this country apart.

The day after the results were announced, I sat and watched CNN all day, completely in shock, envisioning fire and brimstone. Of my kid growing up in a hateful nation, if he even gets the chance to grow up. About so many things that lacked a positive outcome. Since then, I’ve watched the news and paid attention to the things that have occurred since – hoping for some shred of hope or light. On the third day, we learn a company is looking to work closely with Trump to undo US marriage equality and general equality when it comes to the LGBT community. Transgenderism is really starting to find their pride, and the country is starting to really understand and accept them. To undo that would be horrible.

We also learn Donald Trump seeks to delay his criminal trials until after the inauguration (of course). Then we learn about the fact that Pence and Trump kids will lead the transition team, I’m sure that’s not a conflict of interest. If that wasn’t enough, on Day 4, we find out the kids are also taking over the Trump business in a “blind trust” saying they’ll totally be responsible and we should trust them. Now there are obvious talks of possible insider trading that can occur when all is said and done. Once again, Trump could be a political idiot and not realize how corrupt that makes him…but every day is like a snowball effect. I never know what’s coming next. All I know is…nothing good has happened yet.

 

Let’s actually make America great again.

I’ve never claimed to have any real political say in anything, because politics haven’t ever really interested me. Politics are politics, and to me it always just came down to who we voted for – for president. Now there may be many democrats and many republicans, but once again, they were all so very similar and usually…sane enough that I wouldn’t normally fear their presence as President. They all seemed educated enough and serious enough to be an entire nation’s leader – one that can speak across all nationalities, all ages, all genders, and more with a generous voice. I may swing one party, but I’ve never ever feared the outcome of the presidential election from either…now…I kind of do. I would hate to lose all respect for my fellow man if they voted for Donald Trump.

I know it seems silly and merely juvenile to make jokes at the expense of a politician. They always do that anyway right? They say Bernie can’t win because he’s too old, that Hillary can’t win because she’s a woman, and Trump can’t win because he’s stupid or mean…but what they also say is that he’s the second coming of Adolf Hitler. Though what seems to first just be another silly insult to throw off the competition, there really does seem to be some truth to the claim.

Plenty of you have probably seen this image marking the similarities between the two of them, and this was just posted towards the beginning of Trump’s presidential campaign – a lot more things have happened between then and now. What supporters have said is “When I see people comparing Hitler to Trump, all I can think is…Hitler killed millions of people and Trump is just mean”. Well, Hitler killed millions specifically when he gained power, Trump isn’t exactly in power yet…he’s just who all the radicals love to death.

Since the beginning, Trump has made it more clear than ever that he’s obsessed with himself and basically sees everyone as physically unattractive – then he continues to bash them on their looks. Who else had a weird obsession with looks and a narcissistic personality? He has also had probably the most violent rallies with protesters and supporters literally going head to head and threatening death. Does Trump do anything about it? No, he merely shrugs it off and tells people he’ll defend them in court if his supporters hurt the protesters. Then he himself talks about personally wanting to punch protesters in the face and supports those that do it for him.

This man is disgusting filth that is poisoning the minds of what seems to be half the country, and it blows my mind. You want this guy to be president because he speaks his mind and isn’t politically correct like everyone else claims to be…because you see that as false while Trump isn’t. But you fail to even realize that the man is creating havoc and destruction, promoting hatred, racism, and sexism all the while making empty promises to make America “Great again”.

Do you want to know what makes America great? It’s when we get up and do something about the bad. We don’t focus on ourselves or judge others based off their appearance. We are selfless and help others not because we have to, but because we feel the moral obligation to. You want to know what made America great in the past – by going into WWII and stopping men like Trump who were so selfish, immature, and evil that they caused millions of deaths. Germany was behind Hitler because most of them didn’t really know better – you had to step outside of the situation to realize how extreme it really was.

I’m begging America to step outside of the situation and realize how terrible it would be under a Trump presidency. Just look at the man whose supposed to lead the nation and ask yourself if that’s really a good idea. Because it’s more than just an occupation, it’s having the ability to be compassionate as well as strict…something Trump has never showed.

Just a thought!

Resignation: Effective Immediately

I am tendering my resignation. Effective immediately.

To whom it may concern:

Everybody hates retail jobs, that’s just a given. It’s up there with fast food and garbage collectors. Only, with garbage collectors, the workers are often recognized for doing a job no one else wants to do and compensated for their work. Retail is so dead-end that it’s often minimum wage and limited work hours. Apparently, at some jobs that also means you’re also without a face or voice. The communication, or lack thereof, and the cold callous persona of every person in leadership has caused this business to fail significantly in the minds and hearts of all of its employees. You can clearly see the bitterness in the employees’ eyes as they strain to see the good in a job where they are infinitely insignificant and the higher ups are unbelievably indifferent.

The Start:

From the very beginning, Meijer did a great job pulling interest from everyone around. It was a brand new store in a little town that, while it didn’t necessarily need another superstore, it welcomed it anyway. Whether they admit to it or not, people appreciate customer service, which they weren’t getting in Walmart but was offered at Meijer. Plus, change is always new and fun, just not always smart and logical. People have transferred from other cities and moved from other states to be a part of Meijer history. Others have quit their jobs at Walmart or K-Mart to be a part of something that was supposed to be lifechanging.

You got to witness firsthand a giant superstore go from absolutely nothing to something spectacular. From bare shelves to so much stuff, even the back rooms were impossible to navigate through.That was something you contributed to, and felt good doing. Regardless if you were a lotion user, you found the value in it after opening hundreds of cardboard boxes 40 hours a week. Everyone had full-time hours, and for the first time in my life, I couldn’t even tell I was working that many hours because I was having such a wonderful time.

The people I worked with always felt like acquaintances, but at least they knew my name – and I knew theirs. Everyone had the biggest smiles on their faces and everyone was nice. Each and every individual working there saw a future at Meijer – especially after getting fed the stories of how you can easily work there 20-40 years. Life was great. Right before opening, there was oos and awes as everyone met the biggest names in the business, including Hank Meijer and the rest of the leaders of the company. If you experienced what I did, it was sheer insanity – but in a good way. There was unstoppable energy, laughter, and spirit that removed any doubt left in your brain. This was the company to work for – and everyone was proud to call it their job.

Then, the store opened.

Currently:

In the front of the store displays the roughly ~250 people that started working at this particular Meijer when it opened in April of 2015. All of their eyes squinting because of the cold, brisk air – but all smiling nonetheless. There are maybe 40 left from the original group, half of which are also currently in the process of quitting, or at least planning on it as soon as they can (I’ve asked around). I haven’t met anyone that truly likes working there anymore, just people who don’t care either way. Things have changed significantly since the grand opening – and none of these changes has been good. People have left for a variety of reasons, maybe they don’t like retail, maybe they weren’t given enough hours, maybe the customers were treating them horribly and management didn’t do anything about it…I’m not sure why everyone else quit. I only know that the reason I left had to primarily do with how I was treated.

I noticed rather quickly that I was an expendable statistic without a face or voice. I could deal with the minimal hours and minimum wage paycheck, but because I wasn’t seen as anything more than a statistical number, things got abysmal really quick – and I’m not the only one that noticed. People dropped and are still dropping like flies – hightailing it out of there because no one is getting the respect they deserve. I’ve never seen so many people leave a company so quickly – especially since the store is still very new.

People aren’t dumb though, they recognize when they’ve been duped into believing a fantastical story about the best retail position out there. The thing is, like I said – everyone knows retail sucks. It doesn’t have to though – I’ve worked in retail before in a position that I’ve enjoyed. What makes a difference is who you work with. Management and co-workers can feel like family. You’re all in the same boat, and can laugh about the stupid stuff customers say or do, and in the end, respect each other evenly. I truly believe if you love the people you work with – you can work in absolutely any condition. If you are treated like scum, or slaves (especially after being sold on something different before the store opened) – you’re better option would be to leave.

Management went from a high-spirited, smiling bunch to being totally indifferent. When I put my two weeks in, the leader I told had no expression on his face, no reaction – and lied about putting that in the system. My direct supervisor had no idea I put my two weeks in because no one told him, and probably didn’t put it into any “system” either. When I didn’t show up to work because I couldn’t bare to take another step into that grim and bleak place, it took them three hours to notice I wasn’t even there, and no one communicated with each other to explain that I actually left my badge in one of the management’s office. The lack of communication is staggering. In fact, the only reason I truly believe anyone called me was because I was scheduled to be one of the closers – so they semi-needed me.

My recommendation for management would be to recognize one another, keep communication active between each other, and acknowledge the people that work for you. Learn their names and what they actually do for the company. Learn their personality and reward them when they go above and beyond – even if that means signing their remarkable cards which you went crazy over a few months ago. When they go on breaks around the same time as you, strike up a conversation. Also – understand them when they have complaints, listen to them – really listen to them. No one is being heard, so everyone is leaving. I’ve seen honest-working and truly good people leave, only to be replaced with second best, and then they are replaced by third best, fourth best, and so on. This is a small town, you can’t just keep hiring people – you’ll run out of them. Even after you hire the druggies who are left – you’ll have to let them go when they violate parole. You make a big deal about creating great customer service for our shoppers, but you need to do the same for your employees. You can’t expect to feed them something bland and indifferent, and then have them turn that into great customer service.

You get what you give, so give something great.

Cancellation of Participation of Occupation

Quitting a job isn’t easy. In fact, it’s really hard – no matter the job…but sometimes you have to weigh the options and find out the right choice. For me, I had so many reasons not to quit my job. Of course I will lay them out for you.

1. First of all, I left my home, family, and friends specifically to start this specific job six hours away. That first step is a big one, and one you can’t just ignore. When you put everything on the line like that, you have a lot to lose if you don’t make the right choice.
2. The store hadn’t yet opened, so I got to watch it come to fruition. I got to be a part of something that felt bigger than myself. In a weird way, I can almost see Meijer as my baby. There’s a huge difference between working for a store that’s been there for a while and watching it go from literally nothing…to packed with hundreds and thousands of product. It’s really something else.
3. In addition to the second reason, my picture will be plastered to the front of the store for, what I expect, to be a really long time with the title, “your store”. There I stand with the first generation of Meijer team members. A few rows directly behind me is Hank Meijer himself. When you think of this store in normal terms, it’s just your average supermarket, when you breath life into it like we did, it felt like more, so leaving feels like I’m betraying them.
4. Here’s another problem – I have an awful knack for leaving jobs after working for them for such a short period. I can’t even tell you how many jobs I had for an average of five months (including this one). All the managers here told glory tales of how they worked there for 20-40 years, and how it’s such a good company to work for…well…I’m glad for them, but the truth is…there was never going to be advancement in our department.
5. This one should be obvious – there’s no proof that leaving them will land me in a better spot, or if I’m truly equipped to handle the next journey as well as I think I can…but I remain hopeful.

I remain hopeful because in the end, I was offered more base pay than what I’m getting now with very real and tangible possibility of raises, a full time position which leads to a possible spot as assistant manager, which is a position that gets salary. I don’t know about you, but these options sound really good.

The fact of the matter is, Meijer had a tendency to ask too much of its employees. It had a lot of strict rules and empty promises. Slowly, but surely, the place started to get grimmer by the day. I am okay with seeing it partially as my baby. I helped make it what it is today – and that’s something I won’t forget…but what I can’t forget is the fact that they over-hired our department, and even when people quit because they weren’t given enough hours, they did it again…and again. So the same problem with hours continued to rise and rise. They also have too strict of rules in regards to their point system. If you’re late two minutes (or early), you get a point against you…you can only get 12 before you’re fired.

They also have a thing against standing behind the desk talking to each other. To a degree, I get it, but you don’t know if that’s what we’re doing. There’s a lot that goes on behind that desk. There are printer jams, inventory checks, and computer malfunctions that take forever that we have to be back there for…waiting…until it can be resolved. If you just walk by the desk seeing us standing there and think we aren’t doing our jobs…talk to us about it – don’t immediately tell our direct supervisor that we aren’t doing our job…ask us what we’re doing…you might be surprised. Instead, they walk by for less than three seconds and make a judgment call, which lands us with even more of those points that are stacking higher and higher.

Oh yeah, and those remarkable cards you make us wear so you can sign when we do something above and beyond? You stopped signing them after the store opened. For the most part. Seriously, those cards were signed multiple times per day while the store was opening, and then it just became decoration on everyone’s name tags.

Working retail, straight up retail, is not worth it. The customers can be a treat, and knowing your stuff doesn’t hurt either, but when you really talk someone into buying a 50-60” TV, I think I deserve…something. No commission, no incentive, not even a sign of the remarkable card. You do it and no one even realizes it. It’s not easy to talk someone into buying something expensive…regardless if they want one or not.

So yes, I feel bad for quitting, but at the same time…I don’t. My main regrets about it lay with the past and before the store actually began. Nowadays, I’m in good company. People are seriously leaving left and right, and when I gave my two weeks…not a manager cared. I’m expendable. Everyone in the store is expendable. No one is special – because at the end of the day, someone else will replace me. They’ll eventually quit and be replaced, and the cycle will continue until the end of time. That’s just life. Meanwhile, I’m going to keep trying to find a future elsewhere…where I’m noticed and respected.

PEACE!

Pants on Fire

What’s in a lie? That should be obvious, an untruth…but is telling the truth, the whole, and nothing but the truth always the best option? Maybe in court where you’re under oath, but in some cases, I would think it’s considered rude and unethical to state certain things. I was recently told by somebody that they could not lie for me when I asked them to respect my privacy about things they know about in confidence. I won’t dive into details about what I asked them to keep quiet about, for obvious reasons, but they stated that, more or less, that was lying – and they couldn’t do it, and it just made me think of one thing:

I was never raised under the assumption that lying is good or bad, instead I was raised with the concept of loving and honoring another person. Some people are self-loathing individuals who are basically looking for people to give them more reasons to hate themselves. I know, I’ve met plenty of them – and I’ve been in that circle myself. They go around stating horrible things about themselves that they either believe or don’t, and are looking for people to respond in an agreeable way…even if doing so hurt them deeper. It’s more or less the work of an emotional cutter. If what I honestly thought about this person was negative in any way, would I tell them? No, that may very well be all they’re looking for before they take the next step and jump in front of the train.

Obviously one of the most referred to scenarios when it comes to lying for good cause is when your girl asks you the dreaded, “do these jeans make me look fat?”. Well, the answer to that could either be yes or no, but I don’t know who in the world would have the indecency to actually answer, “Of course you do.” I’ve been asked this multiple times myself, and luckily enough I’m not shallow and personally…I don’t actually care one way or another…it’s jeans to me. If they fit you, you’re good. You’re more in trouble if you’re still trying to put them on 15 minutes later.

But the fact of the matter is, there are so many different layers and examples to what a lie actually is, and when it’s good and bad to lie, hold your tongue, or respect someone else with their privacy. I try to keep it all under the idea that knowledge is power, and that’s not a power you have to use – because power-hungry people are the most dangerous and destructive ones around. People’s lives have been ruined by the truth – because the truth didn’t come from them. There is a time and place for brutal honesty. Yes, lies are horrible things 89% of the time, but nothing is ever black and white, cut and dry – you can refer to one of my previous blogs about that. 11% of the time, at least, you lie or hold your tongue out of love and respect for another.

If I asked you about your sex life, should you answer me, or did I just cross a boundary – because I’d think that’s inappropriate…something no one should have to answer. So when you don’t answer me, should I consider that lying? Some people believe that the act of omitting anything is the same as lying – so can I label you a liar for trying to keep what should be personal hidden? That’s all I’m saying…it’s none of my business.

Ever hear about confidants? Ever hear about the Jewish families hiding Jews in hidden rooms to keep them away from the Germans in WWII? Ever hear about the underground railroad? If they were asked “Are you hiding these people”, should they say, “Definitely!”? What about those American soldiers in captivity, tortured to expose secrets that threaten our national security? If they keep their mouth shuts, should they be labeled as a liar…or hero?

I post all these images of the movie Liar, Liar to get the point across – there’s such a thing as a bad lie, but the movie was also released to explain that sometimes, you have to lie. It’s all hidden under the genius hilarity of Jim Carrey. Think about it, that movie is hilarious, and part of that reason (apart from Carrey) is because if you told the truth 100% of the time, you’re going to have a hard time with life. There is a time and place for lies, and there is a time and place for the truth as well.

If you haven’t seen Liar, Liar recently, go watch it again, if only to pay attention to everything Jim Carrey has to tell the truth about. These are things we are faced with every single day, and because of that, it almost costs him his relationship with his kid – but thanks to Hollywood and their notorious ability to end a movie on a good note and happy ending, that didn’t happen. However, if this happened in real life, it wouldn’t be a comedy. His life would probably be ruined, and there would be no happy ending for him.

It’s just something to consider.

Acquaintances in a Quaint City

My life, or a majority of it, has been spent based off of the needs of others. It’s not to say that’s necessarily a bad thing…I like people. In fact, my love for people has fueled numerous arguments against others who I believe are bullying someone else, or groups of people. It’s unfair and just plain cruel most of the time. My love for people has also basically turned into a need for friendship in the workplace. It’s been years since I’ve had a job interview where I haven’t told them that I totally believe your connections with colleagues can make or break a career; that you can hate your actual job duties, but if you love the people you work with…you stop noticing these trivial things that would normally upset you. When I worked at Barnes & Noble, my work family was basically my extended family. I knew everyone and everyone knew me – and leaving was difficult because of that. Working as a barista isn’t horrible, but it does have very stressful moments – and the one thing that kept me going day after day was the people I worked with.

I’ve forgotten, though, what it’s like to lose that in a job. I’ve had a lot of jobs that were similar in terms of everyone knowing each other and having a good time. It wasn’t just one person that I liked to talk to – if one person wasn’t working that day or in that department, someone else was – and that someone else was a good friend as well…so there was never a dull moment. My jobs at B&N, Macy’s, AT&T, and Kerasotes Showplace 16 were all so close-knit that I could consider the people I worked with as family…and there is one major way you can tell: you’ll want to friend these people on Facebook. I know, it sounds nuts, but friending people on Facebook is the new exchanging of telephone numbers, at least the motivation behind it is. You like this person, you want to talk to them outside of work because you get along well. It makes sense. However, there have been some jobs where I didn’t feel the need to friend anyone. One of them was Kroger, but that’s just because I was only there for a couple weeks. Another one is my current job.

One main reason for this is probably because work hasn’t truly begun yet. Everyone is mashed together in order to help build the store into something that looks more like a store because its grand opening is in May. So there’s around 200-some employees running about and they are all doing their part – so my actual job that I was hired to do…I won’t be doing yet for more than a month – and that’s the area where I’ll most likely get along with my co-workers. There’s simply too many employees to get to know them all, unfortunately, but my only hope is once its up and running, I’ll get some friendships going. Which, call me crazy, is really important to me.

I’m living here alone with no internet and no one to keep me company – in a cabin no less. You ask me, that’s just asking for cabin fever…literally. Even when I was away from friends and family, I had the internet to connect with them via Facebook, Skype, Google Talk…you name it. Now all I have is my cell phone…which I use to text…but I have serious anxiety problems when it comes to actually using the thing as a phone phone. You can’t see the person on the other line of the phone. You don’t know the faces they are making, if they are rolling their eyes, or somehow belittling you in a jeer with someone else on the other side of the conversation. I’ve been humiliated over the phone, and every time I use it, I start to sweat. Take it this way, I’d rather go into work throwing up on everyone than call off sick…just saying.

The city of Alpena, Michigan really is quaint. It’s small, but it has everything that you ultimately need. It has every main fast-food restaurant, and a lot of the main stores that people shop at, like K-Mart, Wal-Mart, J.C. Penny, Home Depot, Meijer, and a lot more – but more than that, they are all spread apart so it doesn’t feel like a big city or cramped. You have the things you need to get to relatively close by, but can also enjoy the fresh air, low crime rates, the quietness and stars, and everything else of spacious areas you’d expect from small towns. In my opinion, it’s just right as far as city size goes.

Although, right now I’m pretty much living life while crossing my fingers, hoping it continually goes the way it should. One wrong turn and I might be really screwed.

We Don’t Serve Your Kind Here

The image we get from this very quote differs in origin, because its been said multiple times, but they all serve a common purpose – which is to bring recognition to a way of life that may be going extinct, but is still very much alive in certain parts of the world. For me, I immediately think of the scene in Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope. It’s in the Cantina scene where R2D2 and C3PO are denied service in the bar. As hard as I try, I can’t think of a single reason why they are so dead set against droids. Look around, the planet is full of one droid or another. It doesn’t make sense why for some reason there is an anti-droid bar on the planet other than to remind the world that some people will never change. Neither on Tattooine, Earth, or any other part of the universe that you can think of.

I mention this for what should be obvious reasons. Indiana just passed a bill that more or less states discrimination is legal now – and people are continually bringing up the scenario where gays are specifically targeted and denied service at businesses for religious purposes. The bill doesn’t say anything of the sort, but that’s only because every law is written in a way that is purposefully vague. Even the constitution, but the bill does give religious freedom authority to do certain things – but it’s been decided by common sense that it was made for people to feel more safe and secure in their all-but-racist tendencies and fears towards the homosexual community. I think the official idea is – my religion is against gays, so I can’t have them in my business…it’s nothing personal or anything. But you see, it is.

Hitler had a similar view against Jews, and his laws basically stated that hey, I’m allowed to discriminate because I said so – so let’s gather up some Jews and rape, starve, and torture them until they are dead or at least wish they were dead. Now, this isn’t exactly the same thing, but you’ll have to sue me for noticing the similarities. Religious freedom is a real thing that I totally support – but if that means you are actively making decisions and carrying out actions that harm entire groups of people based on who they are in general, not caring how that affects them..then you have serious issues…and forgive me for saying that doesn’t sound very religious either. All I see with this law is “My religion allows me to steal $1000 a week without repercussion” and so they get to do it. You’re allowed to believe you have the right to $1000 a week, but honey it ain’t happening, okay? Your religion might say gay people are bad, but that’s when you either agree or disagree. After you agree or disagree, you go about your life, end of story! Why does it have to be an all out war!? People die over this. People kill over this. People commit suicide over this.

So a few days ago, you might be saying the war on homosexuality was going extinct. Acceptance was finally viable and possible for those that needed it so dearly for so long. There was a light at the end of the tunnel, and whatever just happened in the last few days I fear has taken a giant leap backwards and has reversed whatever progress we already had as well as what we could achieve in the near future – and placed us back to the days of segregation. How far off would it be to say gays would have to sit at the back of the bus? It should sound preposterous, but for some reason…that seems to fit more in line with what this bill is talking about, and that puts a dark pit of somberness in my heart. I got out of Indiana before this happened, but I feel ashamed to be in this country in general. I’ve felt like that for a while, but the feeling continually escalates. I hate to say it, but if you’re homosexual, you might think about staying in those closets for a little longer and come up with a plan of retaliation. Don’t get blindsided, have a plan. Know your constitutional rights and fight back.

There is a reason we separated church and state, because the document that governs this land is called The United States Constitution – not the Bible. If we wanted to live in a country ran from religious texts, there are countries out there that do that…but let’s just say they don’t have the best reputation out there.

Unfinished Business of a Disconnected Dave

When I was looking into things to consider when camping, there were always quite a bit of selections to ponder. No matter the selection, there would always be a positive and negative aspect to both – and it almost always fell down to what you can do for the amount of money you currently had – which at the time wasn’t much for me. All I truly ever needed was a place to lay my head for a night – and wherever that ended up being, I was okay with – so my camping selection tended to be right along the path of Primitive. We’re talking no electric, heating, plumbing – no nothing but what you have on your back (which was most likely a tent and sleeping bag).

There’s nothing bad about that, either. If you’re used to city life, it’s one thing, but there is a lot to appreciate about the wilderness, especially in good weather conditions. I’ve spent a lot of nights camping out, cooking hot dogs over a fire, and looking at the stars above on a clear and cloudless night. It’s really unlike anything you’re used to – and in a lot of ways, it’s also therapeutic. In Hippy culture, it’s home to them, which leaves the rest of the world in what they call Babylon. The things we do for the man because we have to in order to survive: work, shop, be nice because you’re paid to be nice…it’s all there. In the woods, you can really relax and be yourself. By the time you return, you have a new lease on life…at least for a day or two.

I’ve found, however, that this only really applies if you’ve planned ahead for these things to affect you and for you to leave the Babylonian life, so to speak. I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m away from what I’m used to. I cannot operate the internet or really get a good signal with TV…which in a way was my entire life. The internet is a gateway in so many ways. I write blogs and reviews, I interact with family and friends, I buy movie tickets, check my work schedule, read the news, record and publish podcasts, apply for jobs, shop on Amazon, buy books, and so much more from the internet alone. In a way, that is my whole world, and to suddenly not have it at my disposal has left me feeling like I’m not myself.

Laugh all you want and call me pathetic. Third world problems…whatever, you have to admit that if the same applied to everyone, the world itself would crash…we’re talking the scare of the Millenium Bug all over again. Do we need the internet as individuals in order to survive? Yes and no – but the world operates on the web too – it’s how we’re all interconnected. It’s what gave me a voice when I had no voice to give as a shy kid. Through social media like Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter, I’ve gained exposure to what it takes to be successful doing what you love and have others love you for it at the same time. It takes a lot to learn that “success” doesn’t always mean the same thing to everyone. The internet certainly has shaped my life and I can’t even think as to who I would be without it.

When I moved, I was under the impression that I would have internet. To be clear, there is WiFi here, but I cannot connect to it because the source of the signal is simply too far away to actually make the connection. So the only moments as to when I get a glimpse of the internet is if I am somewhere that actually has public wifi that I’m allowed to use. Better than nothing, and I’ll take it, but the majority of my time is spent in a cabin that might as well be a tent in a primitive campsite.

Yes, we once survived without the internet. Not too long ago, people didn’t even know what it was and when they did know what it was, they couldn’t believe it would ever get as big as it did. People knew each other and didn’t have a smartphone to look at when having conversations. They all sat at a dinner table versus eating in their own, independent rooms at separate times throughout the day. They opened doors for one another instead of retweeting Justin Bieber. There was also once a day where Instagram didn’t exist! In a lot of ways, its sad how the traditions of yesterday are moving into the history of tomorrow, and I think a lot of the internet is unnecessary – but it’s the way of the future now. We also don’t get doctors visits anymore – we have to go there and if we don’t have insurance….well it’s too bad for us. Yes, life sucks and it could be better – but I highly doubt we’re ever getting back to the days of shaking hands as a standard for greeting. You’re only good if you get a friend request on Facebook or a follow on twitter. It’s not a perfect life, but the longer you fight it, the more you just won’t understand how it works…and if you don’t understand how it works, you’ll be left behind. Knowledge is power, and according to Jim Carrey, if Knowledge is Power, than a God am I.

In closing, just know that I don’t feel like myself – and although I’m surviving well and doing everything I’m supposed to in the moment, I feel like I’m living in someone else’s world; someone else’s life. I’m not even stressing or freaking out…it’s simply a slightly uncomfortable observation. Change isn’t easy. I have unfinished business. I have podcasts to record and reviews to write…that’s who I am. At the same time, this cabin I’ve found myself living alone in…is really quaint, comfortable, cozy, and warm – and is right next to a nice big lake. A lot of people would kill to have this as a vacation spot, let alone living arrangement. I might not have what I thought I would, but I have something else which is also reasonable…I’m just stuck in the past. In more ways than one, this is all very bittersweet.

Craving the Lost Art: Common Courtesy

Common courtesy isn’t quite as “common” as the name implies. You hear it all the time. “Chivalry is dead”. That’s not exactly true, but it certainly is withering away at the same time…because the need for it got mixed in with things like sexism and feministic views. Women wanted power so that’s what they got – and in return they say chivalry is dead…maybe you should think about that for a second and realize who it was that did the killing. It wasn’t me. I try to be chivalrous as much as possible, but you’d also be pleasantly surprised at just how often things like that go unnoticed. When people don’t recognize the nice things you do for them or acknowledge them, I wouldn’t be surprised at guys preferring to stop trying altogether.

Chivalry may be dead, but so are the days of women prettying themselves up to be called “dolls” and exclusively wearing dresses. Back in the day, either girls could defend themselves or not, but if they did – they’d get looked down upon on and judged too harshly because of it, so they relied on their big, tough, macho men to do the rough-housing for them. I’m not saying girls shouldn’t be taken as seriously as men – they should, but talking about chivalry is referring to a time long ago that no longer applies for today’s world. It’s like a creationist referring to an ancient time long forgotten as if nothing has changed in thousands of years.

Instead of chivalry, why don’t you just look at it as common courtesy. Being nice for one another. It doesn’t matter who you are, what gender you happen to be, what your sexual orientation is, or if you have two noses…chivalry to me always was one-sided. A man does something for a girl. A damsel. That’s fine, but could that same man open a door for another guy because that’s the nice, decent thing to do? Absolutely – and that’s also something that I do…CALL ME CRAZY. It’s just common courtesy.

This post is getting a lot more long-winded than I originally wanted to talk about, and that is management. It’s important for managers around the world to acknowledge and respect their employees with common courtesy. If you see workers do something that is against policy or against the rules, then allow them the common courtesy and respect by asking to speak to them in an office – away from everyone else and the public. If you charge up and say “Don’t do this” or “Don’t do that!” around a number of onlookers – you have just publicly humiliated that employee and most likely made them feel small. It doesn’t matter who they are. Take them to an office to talk to them about the issue, they may not even know it was a problem to begin with.

I can’t even believe I feel the need to say these things, but unfortunately these things really do happen – more often than not. Employers have a great sense of power that is often a natural high for them. They have a right to do a lot of things – and they can yell at employees in front of everyone if they so wish, but ask yourself what the right move is there. What will accomplish the most? Help the most people? A temporary exclamation that just surprises and demeans your employee, or a well thought-out and rational conversation exploring the do’s and do not’s of job duties? Hmmm….

I have a little bit of a history when it comes to people not thinking when confronting me. In grade school, about five teachers ganged up on me one after the other and yelled at me, absolutely furious that I lied about going back to class for my agenda when I really just wanted to get my toy bear that I left in my desk on my birthday. I was embarrassed and didn’t want anyone to know about the bear – but it was special to me. It’s not the yelling you remember, but every other face that looks at you as it happens that will scar you for life. Ever since then, I’ve had an issue with people getting upset with me in front of others. Another teacher – this one in high school – always made a joke to the class that I goofed around and failed a test again. That time, I made sure she stopped.

Yes, I have a new job, and no, nothing overly scarring or humiliating happened at work in the same context of what I laid out above – however, the possibility of it happening later down the road doesn’t seem utterly impossible – and the thought of that is ultimately what led to this post. So far, that’s my only worry about the job – and if I do everything the way I’m supposed to, I’m golden…but I’m going to be equally upset if I’m one of those faces in the crowd that witnesses someone else get humiliated in front of everyone. Then, I might have a problem.